Showing posts with label Irish joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Irish joke. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day ~ from the e-mail bag

IRISH GAS STATION

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is...

"Top o' the mornin to ya".

As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger."Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything."


Sunday, March 16, 2008

Just for giggles ~

Another Irish Joke

Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over.

"What's wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.

"Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus.

"Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"



and from the e-mail bag, the "ultimate" peep show:

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

A chuckle a day ...

Got this in an e-mail today:

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his
help in reviving her husband's libido.
"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.
"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra."
"It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste
it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."


It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!"


"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his
eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he
sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and
took me then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a
nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?"

"Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin'
here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"