Halloween humor, just because

A bald man with a wooden leg is invited to a Halloween party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he
writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief
will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just
right as a pirate.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.



The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by
and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your
wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.


Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing
his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the
company another nasty letter of complaint. A week later he gets a
small parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick
your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.

~

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

A. Watch the board and I'll go through it again.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Warning: Watch out at the Halloween party

A woman got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the Halloween party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.
As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume,
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice 'chick' he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.
She let him go as far as he wished, since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and made passionate love in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.
'I never have a good time when you're not there.'
'Then she asked,'Did you dance much?'
He replied, 'I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Joe, and Bill Brown and played poker all evening.'
'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my costume to your brother, and apparently he had the time of his life.'